the ultimate millennial guide to being an adult
Hey, fellow millennial! Let’s be honest, things are different for our generation. Some good. Some bad. For the majority of us – being an adult does not include getting married at 21, buying a house, and getting your family started ASAP– as was the norm for previous generations.
As a millennial myself, I can vouch that my 20s were vastly different than that of my great-grandmother. She was married and started her family at the early age of 14. I can’t imagine having been a mother already for over 15 years. Woah! Of course, many millennial s have had children in their teens too, but I think it would be fair to say its no longer the norm.
According to research done by Pew Research Centre
– “In 1965, the typical American woman first married at age 21 and the typical man wed at 23. By 2017, those figures climbed to 27 for women and 29.5 for men. When asked the reasons they have not gotten married, 29% say they are not financially prepared, while 26% say they have not found someone who has the qualities they are looking for; an additional 26% say they are too young and not ready to settle down.”
When it comes to buying a house for our generation – the struggle is real. I believe this contributes largely to the fact that we ‘feel too young’. Well of course we do! Having a secure place to live, whether renting or buying, is a big factor in people’s life plans. The real estate market is more unattainable than ever, leading to climbing rent (especially in many urban areas), which makes it more challenging by the year, for us to save enough money to buy a home in the first place. It’s only natural that we chose to get married and start families later than our baby boomer counterparts.
What is being an adult anyway?
One of the beautiful things about millennial s is we are redefining adulthood. Does it look the same as it did for our parents? Nope! And that can be a fantastic thing because we’re over here with a larger variety of ‘normal’ than ever before (is there even a normal anyway?). We are not stuck in a certain mold of what life should look like – and that is liberating knowledge!
Yes, some things are tougher for us, but – look at all the good! In North America, Women’s and LGBTQ rights are farther along than ever before, the world is truly at our fingertips, and travel is no longer just ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ (backpacking trip anyone?). Just to name a few things. I feel so fortunate to be living my life at this time in history!
time for some clarity
Let’s get empowered! Our purpose here is really to design our lives in a way that brings the most enjoyment and satisfaction to ourselves. Defining what that looks like is the perfect place to start. Think of this as a GPS. We need to punch in where we are and where we would like to go, so we can generate a map.
I encourage you to write this down – paper and pen, or notes on your iPhone – but write it down!
Step 1: your current location
Write down anything in your life that you are happy with. Big or small! I do not suggest making a list of things you don’t like, try to keep the focus positive! Aim for a list of about 5 items and never underestimate the power of acknowledging the good in your life. Here are some examples:
- Home
- Transportation
- My Diet(quality/type of food you eat)
- Career
- Friends
- Pets(dog, cat, gerbil)
- Family(partner, children)
- Hobbies(painting, gardening, baking, lettering)
- Style(your wardrobe, how you present yourself)
- Travel(current frequency/destinations)
- Fitness(your body, gym routine, wellbeing)
- Social Life(dates, outings with friends)
Maybe that is easy for you, however, if you are struggling to find positive things, try getting smaller. For instance, maybe I’m not happy with where I’m living, but I love how I’ve decorated the place. Or maybe I’m not loving the decor, but I have a heck of a comfy couch! Even small gratitudes are a great starting place.
Step 2: your destination
What is YOUR dream lifestyle? Your dream job? Maybe that looks like settling down and having kids, or moving to Japan and teaching English, or living the Van Life and traveling across the country! The point is – you are no more or less of a grown-up for your choice. You are an adult when you take charge of your life and choose to live in a way that brings you happiness and fulfillment.
Write out what you want to achieve/attain. This is the fun part!
My suggestion is to think in as much detail about what your choice of ‘future destination’ means to you. Be specific!
This can be based on the first list, simply finding areas you would like to grow and develop. Really envision how you would like them to be. Chose up to 5 areas of focus.
- Home – I want to purchase a condo in X area of X city.
- My Diet – my diet consists of high quality, satisfying and healthy meals
- Hobbies – I would like to learn lettering so I can make beautiful cards for my friends
- Travel – my dream trip to Europe is a priority for this coming year
- Fitness – my goal is to workout 4 days per week, 30 minutes per day
Tips for Success
Yay! You’ve officially defined your destination – that’s huge! Now 3 things could get in your way – money, time, and motivation. So let’s look at some tips to break through those barriers and get you on your way to your destination!
Money
I have two tips for money. One is to help you spend more intentionally, and the other to help you save more intentionally.
prioritize your spending – the millennial way
This is a fairly simple exercise that really changed how I spent my money and removed the guilt of buying something that could be considered a ‘luxury’. I mean we’ve gotta live. right? We don’t want to deprive ourselves, but we’re also not made of gold so we’ve got to find some balance.
First – write down all the things you commonly spend money on (food, clothing, car payment, makeup etc.). Then we are going to rate them.
The principle is this – spend very frugally on things that simply aren’t important to you, moderately on things that are and lavishly on the one or two areas that bring you sunbeams of happiness.
Here are a few examples for myself, although for each of these, I know many people that would categorize them very differently!
- Light: Buying lunches at work – I personally hate spending money and time getting lunch during my workday when I usually will enjoy something I bring from home so much more! I will avoid this like the plague, and if I am ever in a pinch, I pop into the nearest grocery store and grab some fresh fruit, cheese, and crackers and bring home the extra.
- Mod: Car Insurance – So this one is a must-have for me since I use my car for work. The reason I rate this as Mod is – I have to pay for it and I want a good price, but I don’t just go for the smallest payment possible, but I get enough coverage to give me peace of mind.
- Lux: Wine – No I don’t have a wine cellar in my basement, but I do enjoy keeping a stock of wine at home! A glass in the evening is so enjoyable for me and my husband, and we do keep a supply of wine that we’ve bottled on hand. As delicious as that is, it’s also lovely and indulgent to have new bottles to try, along with favorite picks from local wineries or the liquor store. Happiness – 10/10 😉
prioritize your saving – the millennial way
If you don’t already have an automated saving system, get one in place right now! Yep, I mean now! My favorite tool for this is Wealhsimple – it is so easy to use, and set up is a breeze. You can literally get it set up from your phone without stepping foot outside your home. That is very attractive to me! Plus the app makes it easy to track your savings and increase or decrease your automated contributions. A millennial geared company if ever I saw one!
time
We could all use more time! And since we can’t add more hours to the day, all we can do is subtract existing activities. There are 3 areas I would suggest looking at to carve out more time to work towards your destination.
1 – Sleep
Ugh, I know, I’m the worst for suggesting this one! But sometimes we need to make a compromise to make time for our goals. It doesn’t have to be a crazy about of time – in fact, where do you think you’d be a month from now if you could put an extra 20 minutes of effort towards your goal every weekday morning? For me, that’s just not hitting the snooze button!
If you’re like me and mornings aren’t your time to shine, consider staying up an extra 20 minutes before bed, or starting your bedtime routine a little earlier to allow that block of time to better your life.
2 – phone time
We’ve all gone down the rabbit hole on our phones, mindlessly watching videos, double-tapping, swiping left…then OMG how has it been 2 hours??? Maybe you are more responsible than most with your screen time, but I think many of us (myself included) could achieve a lot more if we gave up our phones. Ok, kind of extreme! We do need them for certain things after all, but maybe consider minimizing that time to make room for the other stuff. The stuff that will get you closer to your goals!
There are tons of great apps that can assist with this if needed – OffScreen being the one I’m currently using.
3 – netflix
I like to think we’ve all been there – that moment when Netflix asks ‘Are you still watching?’. An easy trick here is to disable Auto-Play Next Episode. I also find it helpful to set an intention beforehand on how many episodes I have time to watch, and/or even set a timer on your phone as a reminder.
motivation
Motivation can come and go, so it is never a reliable factor in getting stuff done in the long term. That being said, if you have a particular speaker, YouTuber, or person in your life that seems to be able to do the trick, take note and be sure to go there for some inspiration if you just aren’t feeling it. The best way to stay on a continuous path toward your destination is to build habits out of the steps that get you closer.
This video shows one of my favourite tricks for keeping yourself motivated and reminded of your destination throughout the day!
The Last Thing You Need to Know about being a grown-up millennial
The biggest thing to remember in our journey of adulthood is we have the freedom to design our lives more so than the generations before us. So let’s take advantage of that and not stick to a pre-set path of obligatory life decisions. Take charge and create a lifestyle that fulfills you and brings you happiness – whatever that looks like!
It is so important to define what you want out of life. Spend a few minutes doing that today if you have not done so already. Then think about money, time, and motivation…. which of those is your biggest hurdle, and what is the next step you can take to clear up your path?
I would love to hear from you – what is your ideal lifestyle as a millennial?
What does it mean to you to be a grown-up?
If you’d like to get to know me a little better – check out my About Me page 🙂
